Not-pong Mac Os Catalina
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Hello, bitches and hoes:
At the risk of sounding like a broken record …
STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES
Bitches and gentlemen, we have had a breakthrough in video game history. And the travesty is, it's not even getting that much press.
Now, many of you may be thinking that if this is a post about video games and sex, I must be talking about this development: SugarDVD Releases Instant Streaming Of Adult Movies To PlayStation 3.
PlayStation 3 is almost the perfect console but it is missing one single thing. I can't quite put my finger on it… oh, instant streaming of adult movies! That all changed on December 1st though, because SugarDVD has just released a service to give you all of the adult movies you could ever ask for.
You can also access this service on Roku, Boxee, and Google TV. The service works like Netflix except a little kinkier. You pay $9.95 a month for unlimited streaming and rentals.
To access this service head to SugarDVD.com and create an account. Pay for the service and then log into that same account on your PS3 or other porn compatible device. This service requires no downloading or discs, so it is truly instant. Now go watch some ‘Backdoor Sluts 9′.
Thank you, Chad Kilinski. I would stream 'Backdoor Sluts 9' … but I'm not a loser who pays for porn. $9.95 a month, though…
Well, anyway, that's not the point of this post.
I am here to highlight something even more extraordinary to make sure it gets it due in the anals (sic) of video game history: intimate controllers.
I'm talking about JennyLC Chowdhury's project.
You can read some excerpts below or go to the above Web page to watch a video that'll probably make you horny. I know it did for me.
‘Intimate Controllers' is a platform where video games are played by couples touching each other. The platform consists of two controllers, a bra for the female player and boxer shorts for the male player. Each controller is embedded with 6 sensors placed with varying degrees of intimacy in relation to the body part with which they correspond. Players must pass game levels together and in doing so, game play results in increasingly intimate positioning. The goal of this project was to research and create objects that challenge the traditional notions and orientation of video game play.
…
The possibility of video games creating social situations, rather than inhibiting them was at the forefront of my mind when I was assigned a design exercise that required me to build a Pong controller. Pong is a simple game where players move a paddle right and left in order to hit a ball. As such, the only constraints of the assignment were that my controller send right and left values to a central pong server. Other than that, I was given the freedom to create any type of controller interface I desired. Immediately after hearing about the assignment, I looked at my hands, as is natural when talking about right and left sides. But in looking down at myself, I realized that there was a whole body of right and left real estate from which to choose. It was then that I decided to make a pong controller from a bra (and yes i know the game shown in the video is not pong!). The mapping for the controller would be simple: touching the left breast made the pong paddle go left and the right breast made the paddle go right.
Brilliant, Ms. Chowdhury, brilliant. And to think you came up with all this by yours studies of the Kama Sutra.
But enough of the racial humor. I think this is a bona fide breakthrough for couples in which one or both partners is a gamer.
Might I make a suggestion, though? I've just had an epiphany … one that incorporates my previous two posts declaring smartphones and pee the future of video games.
Here is my idea in steps:
1. Take the technology for this intimate controller
2. Make a video game app for it onto smartphones
3. Make the rules so that the couple has to play the game while they are also playing the game for urinal video game.
Yes, bitches and gentlemen, that's right. I suggest these intimate controllers be used while the man is going to the loo. It just adds another degree of difficulty and makes the endeavor all the more rewarding.
In all seriousness, best of luck to Ms. Chowdhury.
And until she can release the technology for this, you and yours will just have to keep taking turns pleasuring each other with the PlayStation Move controller.
You know you want to.
Not-pong Mac Os X
-angrybumblebee1
